So often we don’t realize the words we use in conversation or about ourselves have such a profound affect on the outcome.
It is quite common for some one to use negative statements about themselves.

Such as: I am so stupid, I cannot do anything right, I am crazy, why didn’t I think of that, I am such a fool.
We use these words not without meaning, but often without really thinking what they mean in the context of the situation, and how they define us.

Couples often say things to each other in a way that has many meanings, hence the reason for the misunderstanding and individual interruption of the text.

A simple statement of….. why did you do that? can be seen as a honest question, or as a judgment.
How we wish to hear it is up to us. We can be curious if we feel that it has another meaning, or we can become defensive and keep the true meaning from being present.